Go to www.xanga.com/emprameen

Printing went badly. I'm making a huge list of problems that, hopefully, my teacher can address. I signed up for another slot today because I'm determined to figure it out, even if no one else can help me. Apoorva! Can you e-mail me your address? I'm gonna PWN pictures out of the lab if it wants me to or not!!

I was thinking about the praying Vietnamese sniper-- but, really, about dying... Would I pray? In my own way, I suppose. I would want to convince myself of the inevitability of the passing of all things transient... I think more realistically I would be sorry and greedy.

Hmm... I'm deciding right now that that's okay too, although that probably won't make me feel "better."

I sprang at the first opportunity fate provided as a deviation from the first thing on my mental to-do list. Ironically enough, because of that: everything else on the list got done

It looks like it's going to rain

Amazing. If we could all admit we were so afraid sometimes, and yet to be so brave about it.
If ever there was a better answer, and a more efficient solution.
And What we saw and never knew,
And what we did then-- and still now do;
As amazing as the morning Dew-
Drops asunder, tucked down under,
Stepped upon With Chaos Thunder,
Pounding with the fractal's soul,
Heated changing played your role
Like spinning spiral carbon coal
Fractal pieces, Just as fractals roar!
Your fate, which you have already met, is the fate of all people and people-kind as well. Time IS an illusion. No longer,  for you, Windy. But we are all still saying no.

No... Xanga prevails. Looks like the world of blogging is picking up, but I'm not about to copy and paste over 3 weeks worth of blogs just to keep this livejournal updated. I wish there was just one huge blog. Whatever-- subscribe to my Xanga RSS feed. It's pretty much the same as a communal blog.

By request: my recent postings on Xanga.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Cravings; The only bends in dreams are the ones we dream

Creatively contending with the contents
Of our Dream Creation
I attend with intent
And our attention is rent out
Scattered throughout a bent Dream
Carefully, I drink from an airy knowledge stream

I am inconsistently circumventing our creation
Something which exists only with us within it
I, and my faces-- I speak as you through them
Until I truly listen, we swim through illusions
Setting fire to illusory cigarettes

I burn myself to ash
And lose track of the ground
She is calling me:
Come back to the earth!
I am no illusion!

But are we to awaken or dream?
What is the distinction?

 

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Lovin

I am not a slut
Because I like to love the girls I love
Dreams come to me of all of us cuddling together
I  am not lonely or cold
Because you let me touch you
Feelings of softness and pleasure escape our breath
I am not just an animal
Because sex is something I want
I am comforted to touch you freely
We share bodies
We share time
We share beauty
Just to be close, to smell your skin and feel you moving
To taste your life
I am not a slut
But I will kiss you all
I will love you all
Because I am a lover
Not a slut

___________________________________


Who should love me something special?
If not everyone whom I love too
I love you something special
From laughing to hand slapping, and love-making too
People in dreams, and sexy things; sunsets and you
I can only love you how I can, and I'll find my way through
I'll love you how you let me, lest you learn me something new.

My friend John and I were riding (he on his bike, and I in his bike cart) up the street from a full-moon yoga meditation. He was telling me the story of the Little Bunny Foo Foo bopping the field-mice. He told his sexual story in the narrative of an old German storyteller while I carried glow sticks and waved cars down. We rode up to his work, The Tinker's Warehouse. There was free bread outside on the gate in a bag. Then, while inside, we had Sherry, Water, and a Mixture of sunflower, pumpkin, and poppy seeds with oil and salt. I had some raisin bread, as well. We ate together while I sat using the Infrared Healing Wand. John did a few dishes and some poking around while I finished up my Bread Drink and Healing.

This morning, Joey and I were traveling from his pad, towards mine. As we walking by a certain house I sniffed something strong in the air. "Hold on." I interrupted our conversation about Life the Universe our the Martial Arts of Existence. I turned around walked and sniffed and turned left. I bent down to grab a Stalk of Mint, and then saw a foreign in the bush! I greeted her and she promptly told me that it was good to pick a Stalk of Mint, and that she asked, and it was okay! She told me to pick the whole stock, it was good!" So I took two, because she told me to, and Joey and I had some mint for a bit. I think my breath smelled like mint all through my lunch-- leftovers from yesterday's Farmer's Market Raid.

I was rushing to go watch Hellboy 2. I almost lost track of time playing Diablo 2. (Tal Rasha looks like the Angel of Death Thing). I turned right up Center and greeted the Farmer's Market on Center Street. I saw a Baker's Stand but moved on to the next. First, though, I paid a visit to the Vinegar Vendor (they sell something else too...) I found a nice dark bottle of Classic Balsamic and vended my way to the next baker. I saw my man and promptly pulled out money to buy a poppyseed loaf, wheat, tough and soft. I thanked and bid the Local Baker 'till next Saturday, and nabbed a nice firm tomato (I like them crunchy.) I was paying my way to the Cheese Vendor when I saw my friend Mark. He was doing a Tarot Reading! I asked him if he'd be around next week, so as to get a reading. Yes! I met a sweet young lady in charge of squishy substances I was seeking. I asked her which she liked and why. She pointed out some dryer cheeses. Interesting! I was craving something else though. I bought a Light Yellow Smoked Cheddar. It turned out to be surprisingly different than I imagined! It's a bit sweet, and soft, but firm. An Earthy Flavor, and I was immediately reminded of Smoked Salmon. It tastes a little bit like fish to me! It's delicious! I watched Hellboy 2 (which I liked) and had a Feast!

I met Mark while Out to Dinner one night. I was just thinking, before leaving my house, that it seems rare that people just sit together randomly and arbitrarily at, say, Dinner.
Mark, wearing His Brown Hat and coat, was ushered in from the Fading Day's Sun to a table that was touching mine (making a table of 4), he asked if it was better that he sit at a different table, when the server pulled his table an inch away from mine, and had him sit diagonally to my right. I said hello after a bit and we introduced ourselves. Another Diner was directed to a table of two to my left. He sad next to me. Mark and I discussed making food decisions. I knew what I wanted, I was just having trouble finding it and ordering enough to keep me satiated for a meal the next day as well. Mark ordered a beautiful bowl of Tempura Udon.
I ordered 6 Shitake Rolls. 2 Nigiri Ebi. 6 California Rolls with Salmon and Assorted Fish on top. I was about to order a bowl of rice, and decided on a Chicken Teriyaki Bowl. Miso Soup. House Salad. And 2 Nigiri "Super White Tuna."Tea, and Water-- of course. As my Meal came I met the friend on my left. His friend arrived with another friend. I invited them to share my table as well, (for there was nowhere else to sit!) and so I was surrounded by 4 former strangers with no previous reason to discuss Life, politics, south park, and Food. It looked like I ate a lot. I did, but I saved a lot too, for a delicious meal I was to have later.

I just finished the last bit of Mint, because my Mouth still tasted like it. Refreshing with Water.

Gamelan X at the Starry Plow tonight! Should be a great show!!

Ahh!

So I went to the Acton house, hopped over to a live blues band playing down the street-- smoked some hash, fixed the bike cart and rode our 40+ blocks towards Oakland. We took a minute outside the Starry Plow to talk to some people and lock our bikes up. I step inside. One of my friends doesn't have enough money. I only have a $100 bill, which they won't take. My friend Joey pays.We get stamped and then stopped one last time. "If I could just check your guys' IDs really quick..."
AHhH!!
The boot!! So we stood outside the Starry Plow-- I talked to some random lady smoking a fag, and some children passing with an older lady. We called our folk and headed over to Joe's house. Unfortunately we lost Nick on the way.
We had a smashing little get-together at Joe's pad with the snakes, instead. And I had a bed to sleep on, and Diana to keep me warm.

Tanned, shadowed, and nude; searching for the sun. Little space above the moon's crescent-- almost full-- I stretched and stood, hungry and cool. Suns are bound to set, and the moon's absence fails to illuminate my room, with a mirror, reflector and blacklight. Long and unruly, brilliant with the sun behind the constant hum of an electro rainbow radiant computer. Only the steel in my ears and the beard on my face shown boldly-- my tones cut and scattered over my body with traces of a once magnificent mane. Head floating in the universe, my body is left to the ravages of living while I contemplate being human. For my heart. For my heart rules my art and my humanity. I step forward, blurred in an instant of light, "Where is the sun?"